After a week of such measureable success, this previous week has proved to be my most challenging yet. When I originally took this job, I was impressed by the professionalism and commitment that the teachers and administrators of the school seemed to have for the cause for which they were fighting. The most important element of our school is not only to give kids a solid education, but to build an efficient model for future ventures of a similar nature. I find myself emulating this mentality, and I rarely perform any action that I feel would be detrimental to the students we serve, or to the school. This spans from performing menial, simple jobs such as filing to refraining for stealing pens. So it shocks me when I encounter employees of the school that don’t share my mentality. I’m sure this comes with years of deflated ego and intensified need for return. Some people that work for the school don’t keep a big-picture mentality, and therefore often cause inner-staff issues that skyrocket out of control into a personal realm. This is what happened to me this week. I’d rather not get into details.
In addition to a strange employee meltdown of which I was unfortunately in the middle, I’ve begun to be pushed backwards by one of my students, who is resisting my teaching to an incredibly self-destructive degree. It’s gotten to the point where no word I say is worth listening to, and no ally can tell the student otherwise.
The third and final blow to my professional life this week came when one of my most promising and encouraging students deciding to transfer out, convinced that a larger school will serve the needs that she requires – that is, more lax attendance policies. What is so disheartening about it is not her departure – I’ve quickly learned to stop letting those get to me – but her utter disinterest in maintaining the bond she had to our school.
So with those three discouraging events weighing me down, I went to northern New Jersey this weekend, where my sister lives, for a family gathering. My mother and sister have both had significant experience as teachers, which includes experience as inner-city teachers, so my cries of frustration and anger were not falling on deaf ears. In fact, no scenario that I desperately described was unbelievable or unusual to them. They had encountered them all, from ornery and unprofessional co-workers to power-stuggles with students, to those that just seemed to fall through the cracks, no matter how hard you tried to patch all those cracks up.
So as hard as it may seem to deal with all of the utter crap it seems like I deal with every day, it’s good to know that none of them are new to anyone but me and the other new teachers that work with me.
After such a rough last week after weeks before of nothing special, this week has so far proven to be very inspiring. Although my Monday with my new stubborn student was very difficult and uncomfortable – she gave me the silent treatment for the entire 50 minute class – Tuesday was a total 180. She began her assignment as I expected – without a word – but suddenly, she actually asked me a question. Finally, she felt that this class could teach her something. Now tutoring her is productive and perhaps even fun. I’ve learned that the way a student treats you is often sadly based on their whim, or their mood, or on what they think of the class. I was right to not take it personally, because it wasn’t me – it was her utter disinterest in learning anything that I attempted to teach her. It just took time for her to accept the class as useful and important to her future. And I’m one of the lucky ones – sometimes it takes students weeks to figure that out.
With that off my shoulders, I began to prepare for the Health Career Fair. The health teacher assigned me to organize the event, and I took it upon myself to invite 12 professionals, create a banner, elicit assistance from students to make posters around school, and make a welcome brochure for all of the attendees. The event was a complete success. More than once a student would tell a health professional “I had no idea I could do that as a career!!” and I knew from the smiling faces that the professionals had a great time as well. They were rarely left sitting by themselves, almost constantly occupied with another inquisitive student. The science teacher compared the event to speed dating since I gave them a reward for speaking with all of the participants. I like to think that the opportunity to speak with these professionals helped the students realize how much is out there beyond just being a doctor. I don’t know if they would ever have an opportunity like this otherwise. Being a major part of that meant a lot to me.
Every Friday during Professional Development, our supervisor asks us to give him a “pow” and ”wow” – something terrible and awesome that happened to us this week. Usually I’m pretty neutral – my pows and wows are pretty consistent and unyielding, so I’m never one to use it as an opportunity to reflect.
This week there were some definite pows though. I’m used to getting yelled at when I ask a student to correct themselves when they’re breaking a rule, but I’ve never had a problem in the classroom. All of my students have always respected me as a teacher, someone from whom they can learn. The problems have always been when I remind them of a discrepancy – an untucked shirt, hanging out in the halls, having food beyond the 1st floor.
Being denied as a disciplinary is one thing, but it’s an entirely different to be denied as a teacher. It’s certainly a very different type of disturbance. I just have to remember to keep not taking it personally.
But there were some wows as well. Another one of my students trusts me to help her with all types of knowledge. She always listens to me, no matter what. She loves to discuss things, and seems to acknowledge my advice. That’s my wow for the week I guess. That one I’ll take personally.
Today was the first day of the new quarter. It’s so exciting to see new faces, some who were strikingly old in age. At our school, age seems to be directly proportional to motivation. Perhaps when kids turn 18, they realize how many doors are beginning to close on them. I guess that makes them more receptive to our assistance.
I quickly realized that learning about your student is half of teaching them. Just a few minutes of “get to know you” time is invariably valuable, and often can’t be done after any teaching has occurred. Some suggest that you must set the tone by immediately giving them a task, but I disagree entirely. It makes the student more receptive to know that you truly care about them and their individual preferences. Everyone wants to be listened to, even if they are required to listen.
And patience… patience and persistence. The two sacred p’s of teaching at an inner-city school. It took me 20 minutes to convince one of my students to sit down and work with me. But it ended with a humble and mature apology and diligent working… at least until the bell rang. If you can’t give a kid patience and persistence, then there isn’t much you really seem to be able to offer them. One little slip-up with either of these, and it all goes down the drain. Trust me, I know. Once I made the mistake of giving some students the cold shoulder before disciplining them and it went so poorly that they had to be sent home. It’s really all in the approach it seems. Not in the intention.
Tomorrow is the start of a new quarter at my school. I have three new students to tutor and most of the students who absented out last quarter are back to try again. Towards the end of the quarter last year, I noticed that the detention list was getting smaller and smaller. This made me very happy until my supervisor told me that it was because so many students had stopped coming to school.
The school I work at emphasizes “fresh starts” and therefore, there is a chance to receive brand new grades five times a year: The school year is divided into quarter systems plus a summer session, so there are five times a year for students to improve. But time and time again, they fail their classes, absent out, or wait until the last minute to bring their grade to a passing one. What’s frustrating about high school, as opposed to elementary or middle school, is that students ultimately have the ability and desire to make their own decisions. When they’re younger, the possibility of a detention or suspension was enough to keep them listening. But after so many times receiving these punishments, the effect has worn off and they have nothing motivating them against their own short-sighted desires.
Because god knows that we’re not enough. In fact, as much as we tell them what to do, I’d say that only about 20% of it is acknowledged. I don’t blame them. In most societies, they would be adults and ready to be responsible for their own issues. It’s hard to fight against that. Because ultimately, you can give them all of the suspensions and detentions and punishments in the world, but they have to make the decision to succeed and no one else. I don’t think wisdom is something you can gain from another person. I think you have to live it yourself, or else it’s not wisdom at all, but just wise advice. Plus it’s hard for a bunch of inner-city poverty and tragedy stricken kids to listen to a bunch of overeducated, white 23-32 year old females. I sure wouldn’t see why we’re worth listening to if I were them.
